Episode 1 - Hawaiian Style

Learn to cook Hawaiian style – kind of! Shivering shits Chico and Paul get liquored up and grapple with hot pork and mackerel to create a feast on the not-remotely-fucking-tropical Scottish island of Rum.

Episode 2 - Food from the Future

SwearNet's culinary cocktarts travel into the future to cook up a fucked feast of spam, meatloaf, and prawn flavoured cheese in a tube. The future's looking SHIT!

Episode 3 - The Xmas Bird

Holy fuck, there's only 247 days to Christmas! Make sure you're fully prepared by watching Offworld Cookery's masterclass on cooking a totally not shit Xmas dinner!

Episode 4 - 4th of July

English tossers Chico and Paul attempt to cook a fucking magical 4th of July feast. Expect cheeseburgers, liquor, blood, and lots of shit mustard....

Episode 5 - No Meat and Two Veg

So, what do vegetarians look like? And what the fuck do they eat? The Offworld Cookery team investigates, with a little help from a bottle of cider and some fucking terrible music!

Episode 6 - The Battle of Waterloo

Chico and Paul do absolutely fuck all for Anglo-French relations as they attempt to create a meat feast fit for Napoleon – in the fucking rain!

Episode 7 - Ancient Britain Style

It's the final episode in the first FUCKED season of Offworld Cookery! This week: feast like a fucking barbarian and learn how to make goat leg stew and shit soup. Yum fucking yum!

Episode 8 - The Second Coming

Praise be! Jesus Christ Himself (or it might be Chico in a shit wig) cooks a heavenly feast with the aid of holy wine, a burning bush, and a traditional Roman dick spoon!