Episodes 17From around the world to your fucking living room, this is SwearNet News. Join Mike Smith, Pat Roach, and co-anchor David Zombie as they meet real life heroes and bring you real stories from our fucked-up world—and don't forget to fucking laugh.
SwearNet News - April 15, 2020
Tonight's breaking SwearNet News story: Dartmouth man gets hair FUCKED in home hairdressing disaster. Remember, kids - don't fucking laugh and cut!
SwearNet News - April 17, 2020
Mike has an update in his Coronavirus Fuckaround - yup, it's still fucking around. But he also has some good news - an exclusive interview with Canadian fuckin' legend Classified, who has a new track out today called... GOOD NEWS!!
April 21, 2020
Cool graphics, shitty disease. Mike has the latest on the Coronavirus, and roving reporter David Zombie checks out a fucked COVID hotspot... or not. And today's Real Fucking Hero, clinical social worker Alicia Jacobs, talks about the mental health impact of the pandemic.
April 25, 2020
Robb Wells takes a virtual trip to the SwearNet studio and everything is going awesome, until a long-lost superhero calls in... and he's FUCKING WASTED!
May 4, 2020
Mike Smith stares death in the face (from a 12ft ladder) and tells it to fuck off, he's got News to do. On tonight's briefing: socially-distanced strip clubs, massive murder hornets, and a hard-hitting interview with Actual Fucking Genius, Bill Gates. Well, kinda...
May 27, 2020
Mike Smith gives you a full 8" as the tiny anchor reports on Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series, and chats to fuckin' food legend Matty Matheson! Find out what the fuck Matty's been cooking up during lockdown, and his favourite swear word!
June 18, 2020
Does anyone here like fuckin' TRAINS!?! We've got a treat for you as SwearNet News has a special interview with rock legend Sebastian Bach! He chats about his weed plant disaster, why pandemic buzzes are shit, and has some exclusive news about rock supergroup, Kings of Chaos!
October 7, 2020
Listen up ya turkey diddlers, it's Pat Roach's first day on the job as SwearNet's news anchor - and it's all going very... FUCKK!!! On tonight's menu - Thanksgiving dinner and dirty old ham!
October 9, 2020
TONIGHT: Pat gives us the lowdown on Halloween - jacking your pumpkin, dressing up like a DICK, and how not to get fucking killed by trick or treat candy! If anyone gives a FUCK!!
October 17, 2020
Good ol' Pat Roach has a smile on his face, as he brings us some fuckin' nice news about butterflies! What the FUCK?
October 20, 2020
Assholes - they're everywhere! Pat Roach investigates the wonderful world of buttholes... and reveals the biggest!
December 1, 2020
A Special Fucking Report from the Bedford Basin, Nova Scotia. Pat goes beyond the bullshit and asks: Is that mystery barge for sexy sea orgies, or some other fucking thing? And what is the truth behind the royal boob-shaped lodge?
December 23, 2020
Smith has been at the studio for 4 days straight trying to deal with app fuckery and he is finally joined by the boys to update everyone regarding the app but...studio equipment malfunctions push him to the edge.
App Update - December 29, 2020
Smith explains how the fuck to use the app, including how to sign up, and how to get your in-app payments to work.
SWEARNET NEWS - LIVE TEST
And we're LIVE!!! Mike is drunk and testing the SwearNet App LIVE feature. He and Robb 'The Scoop' Wells investigate some fucking big breaking news about Canada's #1 Sexual Muscleman...