Cheap Smokes | Season 1

'Cheap Smokes' comedy duo Kaitlin and Laura were thrilled with your comments about their SwearNet debut! They wanted to say thanks, and show you their boobs... OR DID THEY?

Holy shit, lock up your sons! And your liquor. And your bananas. Cheap Smokes are in the 'hood!

Wanna know what a girl REALLY does when she goes to "freshen up" in the bathroom? It's not pretty!

Kaitlin and Laura attempt to share their opinions on legalizing marijuana, after drinking a giant bottle of tequila.

Kaitlin and Laura attempt to teach a Pilates workout despite being extremely hungover.

Ted and Jenna come to the end of an adorable first date. Then something goes HORRIBLY wrong.

Just when you finally get a cute guy's number, something shitty happens!

Ever woken up after a drunken night out and can't remember what happened? This probably happened.

Sometimes, you just gotta fucking DANCE.

Kaitlin and Laura take to the streets to raise awareness about a condition that affects everyone. Yep, that means you too.

Don't worry boys, Kaitlin and Laura are looking after the SwearNet studio while you're away! Nothing has been fucked up. Much.

Join kids' entertainers Pickles and Jelly for songs and jokes, arts and crafts, liquor and crack pipes! Wait, what the fuck...

Swipe left or swipe right? Kaitlin and Laura take the live Tinder challenge, and find out which one the men of Halifax wanna bang!

Pickles & Jelly are joined by their new friend and neighbour, Cory Smickler! And Cory knows of a super fun way to GET HAPPY...

The girls work off their hangovers with a Hip-Hop-West-African-Latin-American-Flamenco workout routine, led by Cedric the Personal Trainer!

This week, Pickles & Jelly learn that swearing is wrong and you should never fucking do it! And Uncle Terry drops by with a bag of white magic...

Hey girls, wanna look like Marilyn Monroe? Let makeup expert Kaitlin show you how, as she transforms Laura into the blonde movie goddess!

Laura interviews beloved SwearNet employee, Jean Marie! But what the fuck does she actually do??

Thinking of going to a fancy dress party as a hot dog, or sexy Donald Trump? Think again....

Drive-thru coffee, office parties, dead antelopes... just a day in the life of a modern, go-getting samsquamptch.

Start your day right with The Morning Show! Get the lowdown on movies we've never seen, a special news report from Pat Roach, and tons of crazy morning fun. Brought to you by Mom Wine!

Good morning SwearNet! The Morning Show ladies pull a hilarious prank, review the Indiana Jones movie or whatever the fuck it was called, and get fit with a super amazing workout. Pat Roach also has a hot story about muthafucking Mars! Sponsored by Mom Wine - it makes ya cool!

What's it like inside the SwearNet studio? Kaitlin and Laura take you on a tour to its most intimate parts!

Top o' the morning to ya! On today's Morning Show, Kaitlin attempts to pull a crazy piss prank, there's a stoned review of The Terminator, and Pat Roach investigates monkeys!

Which came first, the chicken or the... horse?!

Kaitlin and Laura get high and discuss that movie about the future with the robots and shit.

When you're a hot young actor trying to make it in the movies, you gotta do what you gotta do...

Kaitlin and Laura are back at the SwearNet studio and are making some daring new shows! And if things get fucked up... Preston can deal with it.

Join lovely European sluts Svetlana and Vivian for sex tips, relationship advice, and a lesson on how to make a Blow Job... cocktail!

Never seen the classic Humphrey Bogart movie and want to know all about it? For fuck's sake don't watch this.

Ahhh, the warm afterglow of that perfect first date banging session. What could possibly go wrong...

Wanna look like Johnny Depp? Of course you fucking do! Kaitlin and Laura show you how.

Top o' the afternoon to ya SwearNet! Broadcasting from the basement, Laura learns to dress for her body, Kaitlin's motorist morals are tested, and we get a stoned review of Psycho! All brought to you by the dangerously cheap No Name Airlines!

Charming Euro-sluts Svetlana and Vivian are back! This week, they're talking Sex on the Beach (both the drink and the act of banging on a beach), and they're answering viewer questions!

Pickles and Jelly are joined by their smelly friend Hippie Ted, and if you're a fan of magic, Hippie Ted has a treat for you! Learn how to buy and ingest shrooms, but remember - STAY NORMAL!

Kaitlin is heartbroken -- Laura is planning to leave town. But will the girls allow small differences to tear their friendship apart??

SwearNet’s fucked up janitor Jean Marie asks Laura to follow her on an average day in the studio. You’ll see some DECENT cameos from SwearNet staff and the Boys themselves - unfortunately none of them know what the FUCK Jean Marie is doing at SwearNet. YOU BET!

Well, The Morning Show has completely fallen to shit and the girls have already gone way over their $50 production budget. Thankfully, they have a ton of Mom Wine (now with tequila!) to get both fucked AND fucked up.

Silly scoundrels Pickles and Jelly are back! The girls discuss the differences between “photography” and “pornography” and experiment with Horse Tranquilizer! Today’s episode is brought to you by the word of the day: LESBIANS!

Ashley lives a dull life, working a boring job, in a loveless marriage. But this is no ordinary day -- things are about to get pretty fuckin’ crazy, pretty fuckin’ quick!

The worst part of a one night stand is trying to make a sneaky exit without having to deal with the random fucker you’ve banged. Kaitlin tries her best ninja moves and attempts to vanish without a trace!

Jean Marie is tired of being underappreciated at SwearNet studios. She’s gunning for a promotion, and whether it’s mopping walls, renting vehicles, or buying lunch for the office, she’s going to prove that she’s an ASSet. YOU BET!

Heather the samsquamptch has awoken from hibernation and she has a hunger for LOVE! With a little help from her BFF Barb, Heather sets up a Tinder account and finds herself on the fast track to romance!

Who better to answer viewer sex questions than former porn stars Svetlana and Vivian? Learn about avoiding pregnancy, how to make a Slippery Nipple, and discover the “Sex Fact of the Day.” This episode is brought to you lots and lots of cocaine!

Not that long ago, Heather the Samsquamptch barely knew what Tinder was. Fast forward a few short weeks, and she already thinks she’s pregnant! Her date may not remember, this, but... they were not as “safe” as they could’ve been!

If your carpet is full of lumps, fear not. Ambitious entrepreneurs Candace and Chip, aka CARPET MUNCHERS, have you covered -- 5am - 10pm, 365 days a year!

Vivian and Svetlana are well lubricated for the 4th and final edition of the Cocktale Hour! Vivian discusses her love of animals (ferrets and dogs are the flavour of the day today), and Svetlana discusses her love of Vivian’s dad. Plus: learn how to mix yourself a “Screaming Orgasm!”

SwearNet’s plucky custodian Jean Marie never lets a showbiz opportunity pass her by. If Laura wants to put together an audition tape, Jean Marie is going to get herself some of that action, you bet!

Heather the samsquamptch comes to work on a sleepy Monday to find the office empty. Suspecting the jokes on her, and loving a good prank, Heather has a bit of fun and gets some revenge on her hillarious coworkers!

Someone’s been fucking around at SwearNet studios, with Preston’s office being a particularly fucked-over target. Preston checks the security tapes - does he discover the culprit? YOU BET!

On the advice of Mike fuckin’ Smith, Kaitlin and Laura head down to the Halifax waterfront to see who can casually drop in the most swear words while trying to order food. Which fucking fuck will get the most fucks in?

Things get steamy when Laura and Kaitlin partake in a local custom. What happens in Halifax stays in Halifax!

Ah, the magical nervous energy that comes with a blind date. Will it be love at first sight? Could a soul mate be waiting? Laura wants to make sure she puts her best foot forward, and she knows just the way to do it.