Episode 1 - Cheap Smokes Answers Back
'Cheap Smokes' comedy duo Kaitlin and Laura were thrilled with your comments about their SwearNet debut! They wanted to say thanks, and show you their boobs... OR DID THEY?
Episode 2 - Alley Cats
Holy shit, lock up your sons! And your liquor. And your bananas. Cheap Smokes are in the 'hood!
Episode 3 - Freshen Up!
Wanna know what a girl REALLY does when she goes to "freshen up" in the bathroom? It's not pretty!
Episode 4 - Two Drunk Girls Discuss World Issues: Legalize Marijuana
Kaitlin and Laura attempt to share their opinions on legalizing marijuana, after drinking a giant bottle of tequila.
Episode 5 - Hungover Workouts: Pilates
Kaitlin and Laura attempt to teach a Pilates workout despite being extremely hungover.
Episode 6 - First Date
Ted and Jenna come to the end of an adorable first date. Then something goes HORRIBLY wrong.
Episode 8 - Morning
Ever woken up after a drunken night out and can't remember what happened? This probably happened.
Episode 10 - Hugs
Kaitlin and Laura take to the streets to raise awareness about a condition that affects everyone. Yep, that means you too.
Episode 11 - A Message to the Boys
Don't worry boys, Kaitlin and Laura are looking after the SwearNet studio while you're away! Nothing has been fucked up. Much.
Episode 12 - Crack
Join kids' entertainers Pickles and Jelly for songs and jokes, arts and crafts, liquor and crack pipes! Wait, what the fuck...
Episode 13 - Tinder
Swipe left or swipe right? Kaitlin and Laura take the live Tinder challenge, and find out which one the men of Halifax wanna bang!
Episode 14 - Ecstasy
Pickles & Jelly are joined by their new friend and neighbour, Cory Smickler! And Cory knows of a super fun way to GET HAPPY...
Episode 15 - Hungover Workouts: Get Ripped with Cedric
The girls work off their hangovers with a Hip-Hop-West-African-Latin-American-Flamenco workout routine, led by Cedric the Personal Trainer!
Episode 16 - Cocaine
This week, Pickles & Jelly learn that swearing is wrong and you should never fucking do it! And Uncle Terry drops by with a bag of white magic...
Episode 17 - Makeup
Hey girls, wanna look like Marilyn Monroe? Let makeup expert Kaitlin show you how, as she transforms Laura into the blonde movie goddess!
Episode 18 - Jean Marie
Laura interviews beloved SwearNet employee, Jean Marie! But what the fuck does she actually do??
Episode 19 - Walk of Shame
Thinking of going to a fancy dress party as a hot dog, or sexy Donald Trump? Think again....
Episode 20 - Heather
Drive-thru coffee, office parties, dead antelopes... just a day in the life of a modern, go-getting samsquamptch.
Episode 21 - The Morning Show
Start your day right with The Morning Show! Get the lowdown on movies we've never seen, a special news report from Pat Roach, and tons of crazy morning fun. Brought to you by Mom Wine!
Episode 22 - The Morning Show
Good morning SwearNet! The Morning Show ladies pull a hilarious prank, review the Indiana Jones movie or whatever the fuck it was called, and get fit with a super amazing workout. Pat Roach also has a hot story about muthafucking Mars! Sponsored by Mom Wine - it makes ya cool!
Episode 23 - Studio Tour
What's it like inside the SwearNet studio? Kaitlin and Laura take you on a tour to its most intimate parts!
Episode 24 - The Morning Show
Top o' the morning to ya! On today's Morning Show, Kaitlin attempts to pull a crazy piss prank, there's a stoned review of The Terminator, and Pat Roach investigates monkeys!
Episode 26 - Stoned Movie Reviews: Star Wars
Kaitlin and Laura get high and discuss that movie about the future with the robots and shit.
Episode 27 - The Audition
When you're a hot young actor trying to make it in the movies, you gotta do what you gotta do...
Episode 28 - SwearNet Introduction
Kaitlin and Laura are back at the SwearNet studio and are making some daring new shows! And if things get fucked up... Preston can deal with it.
Episode 29 - The Cocktale Hour Part 1
Join lovely European sluts Svetlana and Vivian for sex tips, relationship advice, and a lesson on how to make a Blow Job... cocktail!
Episode 30 - Stoned Movie Reviews: Casablanca
Never seen the classic Humphrey Bogart movie and want to know all about it? For fuck's sake don't watch this.
Episode 31 - Skid Marks
Ahhh, the warm afterglow of that perfect first date banging session. What could possibly go wrong...
Episode 32 - Johnny Depp Look
Wanna look like Johnny Depp? Of course you fucking do! Kaitlin and Laura show you how.
Episode 33 - The... Afternoon Show
Top o' the afternoon to ya SwearNet! Broadcasting from the basement, Laura learns to dress for her body, Kaitlin's motorist morals are tested, and we get a stoned review of Psycho! All brought to you by the dangerously cheap No Name Airlines!
Episode 34 - The Cocktale Hour Part 2
Charming Euro-sluts Svetlana and Vivian are back! This week, they're talking Sex on the Beach (both the drink and the act of banging on a beach), and they're answering viewer questions!
Episode 35 - Magic Mushrooms
Pickles and Jelly are joined by their smelly friend Hippie Ted, and if you're a fan of magic, Hippie Ted has a treat for you! Learn how to buy and ingest shrooms, but remember - STAY NORMAL!
Episode 36 - Continuity Errors
Kaitlin is heartbroken -- Laura is planning to leave town. But will the girls allow small differences to tear their friendship apart??
Episode 37 - A Day in the Life of Jean Marie
SwearNet’s fucked up janitor Jean Marie asks Laura to follow her on an average day in the studio. You’ll see some DECENT cameos from SwearNet staff and the Boys themselves - unfortunately none of them know what the FUCK Jean Marie is doing at SwearNet. YOU BET!
Episode 38 - Top O' the After-Oon to Ya!
Well, The Morning Show has completely fallen to shit and the girls have already gone way over their $50 production budget. Thankfully, they have a ton of Mom Wine (now with tequila!) to get both fucked AND fucked up.
Episode 39 - Horse Tranquilizer
Silly scoundrels Pickles and Jelly are back! The girls discuss the differences between “photography” and “pornography” and experiment with Horse Tranquilizer! Today’s episode is brought to you by the word of the day: LESBIANS!
Episode 40 - Surprised Ya!
Ashley lives a dull life, working a boring job, in a loveless marriage. But this is no ordinary day -- things are about to get pretty fuckin’ crazy, pretty fuckin’ quick!
Episode 41 - One Night Stand
The worst part of a one night stand is trying to make a sneaky exit without having to deal with the random fucker you’ve banged. Kaitlin tries her best ninja moves and attempts to vanish without a trace!
Episode 42 - The Promotion
Jean Marie is tired of being underappreciated at SwearNet studios. She’s gunning for a promotion, and whether it’s mopping walls, renting vehicles, or buying lunch for the office, she’s going to prove that she’s an ASSet. YOU BET!
Episode 43 - Heather's Looking for a Date
Heather the samsquamptch has awoken from hibernation and she has a hunger for LOVE! With a little help from her BFF Barb, Heather sets up a Tinder account and finds herself on the fast track to romance!
Episode 44 - The Cocktale Hour Part 3
Who better to answer viewer sex questions than former porn stars Svetlana and Vivian? Learn about avoiding pregnancy, how to make a Slippery Nipple, and discover the “Sex Fact of the Day.” This episode is brought to you lots and lots of cocaine!
Episode 45 - Heather’s Pregnancy Scare
Not that long ago, Heather the Samsquamptch barely knew what Tinder was. Fast forward a few short weeks, and she already thinks she’s pregnant! Her date may not remember, this, but... they were not as “safe” as they could’ve been!
Episode 46 - Carpet Munchers
If your carpet is full of lumps, fear not. Ambitious entrepreneurs Candace and Chip, aka CARPET MUNCHERS, have you covered -- 5am - 10pm, 365 days a year!
Episode 47 - The Cocktale Hour Part 4
Vivian and Svetlana are well lubricated for the 4th and final edition of the Cocktale Hour! Vivian discusses her love of animals (ferrets and dogs are the flavour of the day today), and Svetlana discusses her love of Vivian’s dad. Plus: learn how to mix yourself a “Screaming Orgasm!”
Episode 48 - The Self Tape
SwearNet’s plucky custodian Jean Marie never lets a showbiz opportunity pass her by. If Laura wants to put together an audition tape, Jean Marie is going to get herself some of that action, you bet!
Episode 49 - Family Day
Heather the samsquamptch comes to work on a sleepy Monday to find the office empty. Suspecting the jokes on her, and loving a good prank, Heather has a bit of fun and gets some revenge on her hillarious coworkers!
Episode 50 - The Security Footage
Someone’s been fucking around at SwearNet studios, with Preston’s office being a particularly fucked-over target. Preston checks the security tapes - does he discover the culprit? YOU BET!
Episode 51 - Street Battles
On the advice of Mike fuckin’ Smith, Kaitlin and Laura head down to the Halifax waterfront to see who can casually drop in the most swear words while trying to order food. Which fucking fuck will get the most fucks in?
Episode 52 - Hungry?
Things get steamy when Laura and Kaitlin partake in a local custom. What happens in Halifax stays in Halifax!